Recently I wrote a post titled - SHE Gets Married, I have to say it received the most feedback of all the posts I have written.  It would seem that marriage can be ideal, a sore subject, unimportant or everything, depending on your perspective.  One of my reader’s responded with such thoughtfulness and candour that I decided to share it with you:

I’m so glad that you wrote, specifically “I’d say: Please have figured out your own life. Please be economically autonomous. Please educate yourself. And Please choose someone who likewise, is all of these things. ” because… people do not understand this. That is to say, they do not seem to understand this insofar as my experience has shown me.
I am 25. I’ve been with my boyfriend, P***, for 6 and a half years.
When people hear this I can see the wheels going in their heads. And then the questions start… When are we getting married? Are we thinking of kids? When are we buying a house?
…Why are those the questions? Why not.. Are you happy? How do you manage to maintain your relationship? …Why are you waiting for marriage, do you -want- to get married?
There is such a societal expectation that when a couple has been together for a time that they want to get married and it is inevitable that they will. Surprising, really, as I had believed for a long time that we lived in an age where marriage could acceptably take a backseat to careers and was a choice, not an obligation or expectation.
I applaud all women (and men) who can love (and/or live with) someone because they want to, because they are happy, because they’ve found someone they genuinely want to be with. I applaud them for not needing a legal contract to remind them where their hearts should be, what their priorities should be.
That said, I also applaud the women (and men) who marry because it is their choice, their desire, and they want to express their mutual commitment to a loving relationship and lifelong emotional bond through a legal bond.
Marriage should be an expression of love, not an expectation of society.
I am economically autonomous. I am educated. I am experienced. When my boyfriend has finished his education and he has sorted through his finances, we will take the next step. The next step being what is best for us and what makes us happy. Will it be marriage? Perhaps. Do I feel “Okay, this is it, I’m done?” Yes. That’s how I know that -if- the next step is marriage it will be for the right reasons.
And really, in the end, isn’t that what matters? Not that you make the “right” choice, but you make it for the right reasons?

THANK YOU CASAUNDRA LOCKE FOR THIS INTELLIGENT AND BALANCED REPLY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?  Identify your perspective in your reply {i.e.single, married, dating, separated/divorced etc…}

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